07March 2007 time gives me space to think

i've been pondering.....thinking really really hard.

why do i have so much free time as compared to all my friends? many times a week, i can go home straight after school... watch tv when i reached home and pace in and out. no worries, i have nothing urgent that i have not yet done. WEIRD. i seriously dont understand. nvms i think i'll get wack if my friends sees this haha.

i have been staring out in space during my journey home. most of the time.what was i thinking about? i cant say haha. just afraid that i'll make a wrong decision that might hurt 2 person. this is seriously a daunting matter.


anws my mum went missing just now. i was so worried that i almost cried. call me a pessimist or anything, but i did thought that she gt involved in some accident or something (big FAT CHOY!!!). i was just sitting near the window, staring out at the lift area. my handphone was in my hands. she left her workplace at 3+, and she was not back @ 630. i called her workplace, i called my granny hse. the ans was no.
PHEW.
thoughts race through me and for one minute, i was really scare. so scare that i will have to live in this dark quiet hse(cos we din switch on the lights; my mum is the one who also switches on the lights near evening) without her.
i felt regretful,
i thought of the last words i said to her.
i thought of the words i wanted to say to her...

haha...emo ya. i'm not being the drama-mama here. its heart felt thoughts for yesterday i thought i will not wake up alive to see anyone.

serious. so i'm glad i'm still kicking alive now and i want to appreciate everyone ard me.

+ernnie, stop mia-ing
+QX stop appearing offline
+md continue taking more pics!

sometimes isnt it nice to just stop what you are doing and look at the people around you? i cant imagine my life without them. i'm thankful.
i wonder if one day i was to die suddenly, who will be there crying?


llwei~