31Jul2008 the cats.

i'm happie yet i'm sad.

i'm busy yet i'm bored.

i'm sensible yet i'm childish.

ultimately, alone.

you aren't there to chase the cats away.


so many of them.

scare the wits out of me.



alone. walking.
with a painful eye.




llwei~

16July2008 wide awake

wide awake suddenly.


puffy eyes. a little sore. stomach hurts.


the commotion just now jolt me to my senses.
i love everyone so much
i feel all that they felt.

tears just come so easily.
and i feel all alone.
weak. helpless.


i wonder if u ever come visit.
like u did to other frens.
i wonder.


the future. what lies ahead.
i promise i'll love her as much as she'd love me.
maybe more.


hold on to me tight.
i may not be as strong, but i will try.
so long, our lives has intertwined
so far, we've walk the path together
so sure, i will hold your hand

forever i hope. i truly hope.
dun leave.
i silently pray.
my strength, my soul, my life
be gone without you.



the root of all evil.
think before you speak.

Oh shut up.


nobody understands.


llwei~

fear.

there's so much fear in me now.

lost.
lost.
lost.

why does tears just keep coming.

i'm just staring at my computer.
i dunnoe wat to do.
Just fear.
Just worries.


i cant breathe.



llwei~

who?

many a times i wonder....

what will happen if i disappear from the face of the earth one fine day?

who will realise that i am gone,

who will remember me in their hearts forever...


I am very imaginative.

When traveling on the train, i ask myself who will i leave my last sms to if the train crash. I ask what will i say to the person. I ask as tears swell up in my eyes.

Silly. Stop watching too much drama. Stop being a crybaby.

My tear glands are so active, i feel sad so easily.

Thats not the cheery liwei everyone knows. Who am i?


Who am i living for? Who's shadow am i living in?

Will i get lost? Will i ever fall and not get up?

Rely on urself he said. I knows. But i just cant bear to walk anywhere alone...


I'm scare of collapsing one day somewhere, someday...
in a place where nobody knows who i am.
Who will call to inform my family and friends?
Who will help me preserve my memories?
Who will guide me on my way?
How can i record every word that i want to say to everyone?
How can i tell them?

Someday sometime some moment.

Hold me tight, for i'm scare to live this beautiful world one day.



Oh Crap.
Just live each day as it is.




llwei~