did i make a wrong decision?

i think i did.

i think i did.

i think i did.

the head is spinning.
how can i rectify the problem?

i'm trying my best.
waking up in the wee hours before them, to make him clean

i feel so guilty for bringing unhappiness.
its my fault.
stupid me.
so stupid.

but still complains.
are my efforts not justified?
its getting tiring.

爱到底

i like this song.
i dunnoe why. but it just feels so close to heart.

this is by 超級星光大道 楊駿文

爱到底 - 庾澄庆

我曾怀疑 你在不在我的怀里
为何幸福 你会哭泣
不忍相爱结果是你 失去自己
曾有一度 让你离去


风风雨雨 爱又让我们在一起
我知道 你受了委屈
不能否认 你我原本太多不同
就像日夜擦身而过 
用一生去寻刹那的梦

我已决心爱到底 决心不回去
就算一步 就踏进地狱
今生我决不负你 不负你一句
就算你会离去 我我爱你

我曾怀疑 你在不在我的怀里
为何幸福 你会哭泣
不忍相爱结果是你 失去自己
曾有一度 让你离去

风风雨雨 爱又让我们在一起
我知道 你受了委屈
不能否认 你我原本太多不同
就像日夜擦身而过 
用一生去寻刹那的梦

我已决心爱到底 决心不回去
就算一步 就踏进地狱
今生我决不负你 不负你一句
就算你会离去 我我爱你

我已决心爱到底 决心不回去
就算一步 就踏进地狱
今生我决不负你 不负你一句
就算你会离去 我我爱你

never has been, never will be.

thank you so much for making me feel so....

never is.

never will.

how true it is.

i've just felt it once again.

the reminders

sometimes,
we need constant reminders
a reminder for us to love the people around us.
people whom we take for granted.
irreplaceable people who plays the very important roles in our life.

sometimes,
we just get too carried away with our own life.
we become too self-centered
and we're only obsessed in achieving what we want.
in the midst of such, we forget
to care for and fail to
assure the people whom we love that, they are actually important.

i've constantly been reminded recently.
the fear of losing is becoming so real
such that it scares me so.

in my world of fantasy, nobody leaves.
not unless i say so.
the alternate reality is always beautiful.
and i wishes to stay within this fairytale.
forever
and ever.
but as i see the eclipses of time.
the whitening of hair.
the decisions to step into a next stage of life
i need to realise that dreams,
will ultimately remain as dreams.


learn to treasure.
learn to feel for the people around you.

learn to love. and show it.
llwei~

200 pounds beauty

've fell in love with this movie.

this song just tugged on my heartstrings such that 
i'll have this weird roller coaster feeling inside me
this movie is brilliant.


love. family. and loving yourself for who you are.


its not just a comedy, 
and i only knew that after i learnt how to appreciate films in my films module.
thank god its not too late! =)

18sept2009

心里有一股莫名的压力
不知道为什么
也不知道要如何去舒解它
只想逃避
跑得远远的

每个星期都是这样
对自己感到失望
心中的彷徨，久久都不可平复下来
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
婚姻是爱情的天堂，还是爱情的坟墓？？

被幸福包围的我
因该感到一样幸福吧？
可是却不是如此

心里有的，却是质疑与害怕
这世上，真的有天长地久的爱情吗？
这世上，真的有无怨无悔的包容与付出吗？
一个人，对另一个人的付出，到底可以有多深？

可笑的事，
婚姻在这之前，对我来说， 是多么美好的一件事
它是幸福的象征
是对爱情的守候

我怎么可以对真挚的爱情失去了信心？
我相信爱情！可我还不能相信永恒的爱。。。

爱一个人，是多么困难的一件事
维持一段感情，更谈何容易
爱情的火花不会永远燃烧着
多么轰轰烈烈的爱情，有一天也会淡去，老去。。。
当它悄悄的， 无声无息的，熄灭时，
你该真么做？

努力 加油。
我为大家打气。

void of emotions

void of emotions
not angry, not sad, not happie.
there are moments in your life when your mind is just
plain blank.
nothing crosses your mind, nothing feels important
you dont feel yourself to be alive as a human and breathing.

i know i just pissed you off again.
i knows it fully well.
the mouth just couldnt open.
the eyes just couldnt shine.
sorry and i mean it.
it must hurt, cos i'm feeling it now.

void of emotions
i dont know why.
i dont know what.
i dont know how.
i dont know anything

what matters. what matters not?

void of emotions
it doesnt feel right.
somewhere.
no where.
whatever.
maybe its just today.
how come?

i actually dun get what i'm talking about on the above too.
so dun bother to decipher the meaning.

i'm lost too.
lost somewhere,
out there.
it happens rite?
when things get distant.
when things are no longer within ur control.
nothing could change anything.


i'm tired.
quite actually.
sweet dreams
the moon is so round today. shiny down on me.
it looks fake. like a yellow piece of paper pasted amidst the dark sky.
its seems to be watching me.
maybe trying to sing me a lullaby.


tomorrow is a fresh new start.
i promise to start it with a smile.

llwei~

blubberrrrr...

i have a great friend.
and her name starts with a E.
She's a CARTOON character.
haha.
anws, i just wanna declare my unconditional lurve for you.

how many great friends do you have?
1 is enough for me =)
well on second thoughts, maybe 2 is good too.

feelsgreat to be loved by the people around you
feelsgreat that you are included to be part of their life

nobody can hold your hands forever,
someday,
oneday,
you'll have to step up and walk your own trail.
i knows it
and i'm starting to realise it.

its actually not that bad i think.
just sometimes hormones gets imbalance,
things gets aaaaalittleeeeee emotional.

i think its the amount of time i have on hand.
too much!
anyone wants some?
BESTIE?



llwei~

realisation time

realise how silent the world around is

notice how quiet the life has become

coming to a standstill so so dreaded

but who cares

nobody.



while life is bustling outside

filled with fun and excitement

joyful laughter. real ones.



but too bad,
it just doesn't include all

it has beeen long!

09april2009

开始不喜欢呆在家里。

太吵了， 为什么不能像别人一样？？

蔚

in the midst of staying objective and rational

one will lose the empathy and emotional attachment you should have for another.

even the closest friends.

sometimes,

its not about the advice,

cos she already knows

that eventually, she's gonna be just fine.

its the sharing

a important part of the process

that makes one feels better.

crying with her should make it better.

its not wallowing in self-pity though.

there's this disappointment,

when you get slap with the big motivational talk

cos it jus makes it seem like

you do not understand it at all.



big talk doesn't makes one feel better.

so have more empathy.


llwei~

1april2009

my head is throbbing.

and i think i am going to throw up.

how am i goin to squeeze the stack of notes into my dead brain for tmrz' quiz...


the night is so quiet.

awfully quiet.

unbearably still.

as quiet as i can imagine it'll gonna be in a few month's time.

as still as i know my life will be.


i dun really like to talk to myself.

you know that.

its gonna be different.


left behind.

faraway.


Zui Xing Fu De Shi - Liang Wen Yin

llwei~

05mar2009 IPR tmrz!

i'mmm sooo tired mans.

boo boo boo hooo.

darling's dozed off at MSN!
hmpf!!!

CRAP there's a flying beetle in my room.
buzzzing ard.



cheers
liwei

19feb2009 watever.

maybe i really cannot take stress.

i'll flare up

over little things.

everything's so irritating to me now.

get lost.



llwei~

25jan2008 年除夕的一顿饭

团年饭一年一度，

尤其是除夕夜的团年饭，

含义奇特。



是亲人的，才能坐在餐桌前。

除夕的年夜饭，绝对没有外人。

而新年期间的晚饭，是招待亲朋戚友，

过门就是客的人 都可以一起吃。

聚集在一起吃饭的人，可能是彼此陌生的，

像是刚好在一起吃buffet一样，就是吃一顿饭而已。

没有感恩，没有对彼此的珍惜。。。

这样的一餐，是失去意义的普通。


我喜欢团年饭，

更喜欢年除夕的团年饭，

因为那意义更深重，

代表着对我重要的人，

其实也重视我。


今天是除夕夜。

跟爸爸妈妈一起的除夕夜。

明白了我不是别人家的一份子，

欣慰是爸爸妈妈的孩子。




蔚

19jan2009 一起

一顿饭

只是一顿饭而已。

我的家

在你心里，是什么意义？

12jan2009

很珍惜每一刻
但又进退两难

不能忘记
不能忘记

没有生日
没有婚礼
没有中秋
没有圣诞

想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办想你的时候要怎么办呢

i havnt made any new year resolution for the year.
hadnt plan to initially cos its no habit of mine.

but now, i hope to make one.
and i hope it is a promise i can keep to...
for now and in the future.

as i silently say the promise
i cross my fingers
i pray for my determination
i pray for my resilience
to make me stand strong against
whatever i may have to face
now and in the future.

hide the tears
remember the smiles
flush the memories
and life can be the same
if u try

no one knows me better then my mom
and this time,
she is so so right.
i will remember to recall this post when the time comes

one mere week had once brought agony.
i wonder how half a year taste like.
sweet sour bitter or spicy?

i think it'll be salty.



llwei~

05jan2009

一片空白的脑袋。

好难受。
我的努力成了你的负担
我的快乐成了你的不快乐
是障碍
是阻挠

真失败。
很失败。
不爱会不会好一点？

为什么要计较
谁付出的多
能算的爱情，
应该就不是真正的爱情了吧。


我们
我有很多希望和对未来的期望
现在才发现，
原来你没有。
给不了你信心吧？
我想也是。

不要分离，不要思念
说了也让人当笑话。

自私的人
得不到完美的爱情
愚蠢的像鸵鸟一样
把自己关在自己的世界
以为这样就能成真

要怎么办
不要紧握我的手
不要时时呵护我
因为，会让我期待更多，想念更多。

04jan2009

原来，有些事
不是你很努力，就可以争取到的。
不能改变的事，又为何要痛心流泪。
傻傻。

握紧的手，以后不那么温暖
走过的路，以后不那么熟悉。

自己的路，真的要自己走吗？
不能自私一点吗？

我想，真得不能。
心中有一万个不愿意，但都无可奈何。
突然好想你。
突然真的好想你。

好近
又似乎好远。
我看不透，摸不着。

无声
无息
就这样吧。