28oct2007 true or false

getting busy, but i'm actually loving it.
Marketing is so fun ( when u have actually found the solution to stuff). Hope i can do well enough to get my marketing major! i wanaa take more marketing modules next term!~ xiang jie, heard that? hohooo...

feels like watching a movie and i am the lead actress.

i truly believe that at times of vulnerability, memories comes back easily to you, like it or not.
Some nights, i remember them both, and i reminisce the memories...
how vivid they are...i think about how they're doing now and why they'd chosen me in the first place...no answers to the latter but to the first, they're doin well i guess...

I always ponder, am i leaving in the past like this? if i am, then are they?
to forget and to remember, which one is easier to achieve.?
its hard to forget and have nothing to fall back on, memories are what is embedded in our minds automatically, there's no mechanism to stop it... what magical eraser should i use before i can clean them off?
to remember its painful.. i still remember their touch, the snapshots and the way their eyes talks to me...it is wonderful memories, just no more true... are memories what that make people stagnant and resistant to moving forward?

i think i'm moving on...because what has happened has gradually dull and paled to me and to the people around me. the crux of this sentence is I THINK.

It seemed like they're forgeting the matter.... no more mentioning of the name, no more conversations on it. thats suppose to be something good. But sometimes,why do i yearn to hear his name and to learn of his well-being.

a thin differentiating line between true feelings and imposed feelings.
when the need to imposed 'a feeling' is demanding because everyone is watching you, you have to do it. and gradually, it covers your real feelings.
you were fine, so you cant be un-fine now.
if u said u are moving forward, u cant be moving backward or remaining stationary at the same time. its a time relative kinda idea. i THINK.

i appear non-chalant... so is that my true feeling, or am i trying to be?

life is so complicating.
sometimes, people could do things in such subtle n convincing ways that even they themselves gets confused.

true or false?

appluase for the best actress
applause for the best documentary

which one?


llwei~

25Oct2007 get me something to do, will you?

Had an interesting MA meeing yesterday. due to HIGH LEVEL of SHITTY FEELING CALLED DEP-stRESSED, the group(actually just me and qx)went highhhhhhhhh.just laughin but dunnnoe wat we're laughin at. doing weird things. serious at one moment, giggling at the immediate next.

i cant sleep.
i close my eyes.but brain, why are you still thinking about something?
maybe its the radio. so i switched it off. pulled the blanket over me. Complete silence.
i tell myself to relax.i psycho myself to sleep.i coax myself to sleep. i threaten myself to sleep.
i open my eyes. first feeling is SHIT. why did i wake up so early in the middle of the night?! now i cant get back to sleep.
my brain feels tired. so does my eyes.

a feeling of helplessness...a pentup feeling, i feel frustrated!
i want to do something. i know deadlines are drawing near. but WHY IS THERE NOTHING FOR ME TO DO YET?
i should be more productive during meetings, steer the way, clear the vision and mayb we will be able to start on the report.
the feeling is terrible.DEP-stRESSED. depressed and stressed. how good can the combination get. midterms also coming up next week and the week after.

so interesting. the workload is piling up, but i still have so much time on my hands staring at them but not actually clearing them.

crap. i think this sleeping-yet-not really sleeping nights will go on for quite some time. SAVE me!


BOOS
llwei~

22Oct2007 quite true.

You Are An INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. In love, you truly see relationships as an opportunity to connect and grow. You enjoy relationships as long as they are improving and changing. You can't stand stagnation. At work, you stay motivated and happy... as long as you are working toward a dream you support. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. How you see yourself: Hardworking, ethical, and helpful When other people don't get you, they see you as: Manipulative, weak, and unstable

What's Your Personality Type?

21Oct2007 The Brave One

Visited this Artventure exhibition along Esplanade walkway lot citylink. It was amazing.. full of life and brough so much smiles to everyone's faces! I see the innocence and creativity of these kids. well done! they're really well drawn...felt like i was back in kindergarden doin arts and craft.. =)


Went for dinner at this 自然酒家 restaurant yesterday at Hotel Grand Central after watching The Brave one starring Jodie Foster.




Not a bad show, felt that it was quite a realistic show thats trying to scavange into the inner self of pple. We were reminded of the fear that's deposit within each individual.. and only at times of vunerability will this fear be felt. Erica Brain (Jodie Foster) is a popular DJ who shares every details of her life in New York with her listeners on air, be it the sounds she hears or the sights she sees.Her beautiful world crashes one day when she and her fiance David is ambushed in a random attack by a group of hooligans. Whilst Erica lived through, David however,did not survive the brutal attack.and upon the loss of the only love and pillar of support of her life, Erica lived in constant fear. Fear brought about by her vulnerability and the realisation of the insignificance of life. Their case was just referred to by mere numbers.
"can i have the reference number of your case?' the police on duty asked when Erica attempted to enquire on the progress of her case.

to the rest of the world, this is just one of the many other crimes committed on a random day. But to Erica, it means the end of her world.who could understand the helplessness of being alone...grieving..feeling the presence of him ard you and remembering the routine and memories shared.
She is not prepared to lose the man but it was out of her control. How many more of these injustice prevail in this world? your lips just quivers and trembles when you try to speak while memories viciously invade ur thoughts...its a tougher struggle when the people around you fail to give you the chance to recover...
they feel that you need more time to rest but little do they know that rest just means more time for overwhelming grief.
She became to feel like a stranger in the city she used to love and feel secure in.With every steps she takes, the suffocating fear stabbs her body. She feels threaten every moment...and arming herself is the best solution.
The first time she kills, it was to protect herself-- to kill or to be killed. her hands was shaking violently the first time she fires and out of the 3 shots fired, 2 misses.
The second time she kills, her hands no longer shakes while holding the gun, and not one of her shots missed.
The third time she kills, she threw the wrench man over the railings of a multi-storey carpark after smashing his head with the crowbar the man used in defense. Cause of death was unknown to be the fall or the wacking. a 50%-50% chance the forensic says.
The fourth time she kills, was to get justice. Justice for Daivd's innocent death and justice for her victims.

Were the killings a reflex ,in an attempt to protect herself from being conquered by the fear within her? ...The unknown fear that had made her 'an insignificant nobody' in the big vibrant city of New York. Just how vulnerable each individual is?

The main idea of the story was made more interesting with the friendship established between Erica and NYPD Detective Mercer. Though their friendship did not run long on timeline, it was nevertheless a friendship built on trust. Being a vivid listener of Erica, Mercer felt a sense of trust and compelling urge to understand this woman.
In his eyes, she was a strong, respectable woman who was able to compose herself admist the ordeal. She is a woman with humanity and a sense of righteous unlike the many other media-reporter out there.
To Erica, Mercer was a man whom she needs to steer clear of. However, at her times of vulnerability, Mercer was the first in her mind. Mercer reminds her of the guilt she should be feeling being a murderer, but yet he's also the one who reminds her that there are some things that legal justice can't do.

It is this sense of admiration and respect each of them have for each other that connected them. It was a thin line. It is a case of the cat and mouse, but also a story reflecting humanity and empathy.
Feelings are hard to describe for its for you to experience. the happiness, the anger, the sadness are not just what mere words can be used to protray. Maybe that is why we feel. The different degrees of pain, joy, hatred and such....to me, you'll probably never understand how i'm feeling EXACTLY. but i'll be happy when i know you're trying hard to give me the love and comfort.

It important to share. It important to listen with your heart. Its important to look into the eyes of people. It is important to try understanding. Its important to think. Its important to learn. It is important to love.

Its important to cry. Its important to smile. Its important to scream. Its important to shout.

Its important to forgive and its important to forget.

Its important to remember.

llwei~

19102007 best frens for life!

had an evening out with my dearest long time fren... had fun talking abt anything and everything! love her lots.


llwei~

18oct2007 That's when I Love You

Aslyn -- That's When I Love You

When you have to look away
When you dont have much to say
Thats when I love you
I love you, just that way
To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
Thats when I love you
I love you, endlessly
And when your mad cuz you lost a game
Forget Im waiting in the rain
Baby i love you,
I love you anyway
Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
WhenI love you no matter what
So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
Thats when I love you
I love you a little more each time
And when you cant quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
Thats when I love you
I love you, more than youll know
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you get when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway
Heres my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
Thats when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
Thats when I love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
Thats when I love you,
When I love you no matter what
No matter what

nice song the lyrics are reflections of real life situations kinda..
thats true love, isnt it.



llwei~

17oct2007 i ran, she ran, we RAN.

i ran, she ran, we RAN.

hahah i think i'm starting to do stupid things. WHY? i dunnoe hahaha cos i cant say its because of 'she'. 'she' will put her teeth onto my flesh..=)

anws i think i looked STUPID. hahahh so funny can. now i know and realised that my first instinct upon seeing him would be to RUN.to think i was still pondering hard previously on this. Running looks like a much more silly instinct, esp after u've given so much thought and mental preparation on it.

HAHA. i'm laughin at myself.
Silly Silly Silly. i'm laughin at my foolishness.

anws this morning, i tried to use my facial wash to brush my teeth. haha. laugh again.



cheers
liwei

15oct2007 oppps. its over.

last week was my term break. felt like it was just yesterday when it'd just started! why do time passes so so fast when i get busy...eeks. hate it.

was more busy during the term break then i was normally HAHA. doing wat i cant remember. just that it was packed packed packed and fun. got addicted to ANTM as well as CSI...but there are soo soo many episodes and different seasons of CSI that i've got to give my attention to. ha hope my schoolwork or rather my sleep dun suffer. hoohoo.

CSI is really nice. everything is well paced and looks professionally real. unlike those policestory in singapore by channel 5. OPPS.its so exciting to follow through each episode when they finally reveal the tactics used or series of events that happened.wow. totally addicted thats why i'm either away or busy most of the time @ msn. =p

anws i'm very tired now. went swimming. long time since i last swam..probably 1mnth plus ago at least. feels good to be in the pool...wasnt sunny jus nice and cooling..wasnt very crowded too. enjoyable trip.
i think i'm need to watch my spending recently...cos i jus went to NTUC after the swim and bought some stuff cos i jus feel like it. bought the vinetta ice-cream, conr flakes and a big big tub of peach/mango yogurt. yumyum...

gonna TRY concentrate on school now...or soon... ha =) missing my bestiess!!



llwei~

holiday fun.

cindy's 21st bdae

kboxing with squashies...

i'm having fun working especially, having meetings with frens and playing!!
holiday fun, but these is not it definitely...i wanna MORE MORE FUN. hee.

happie mind happie life!
开心就好 =)



llwei~

02-10-2007 JERK

You're a JERK. i'd never felt so angry at someone before. feel privilege that u're the first one to make me feel like puking. Seriously.

i feel cheated but am glad for i now see ur true colours.Your not looking at love, u're just desperate to fill the emptiness in your heart. i pity you.

all the denial and lies u've been saying. its so saddening. but i'm not gonna swept anymore tears for you.

If i cry, it'll be for all the efforts i've put into the relationship.

If i cry, it'll be out of happiness for i'm freed.

Jerk is all that can be used to describe you.U're not worthy of my love and of all the tears i've swept.not at all.


May God Bless you man. I dun need ur prayers.


llwei~

2Oct2007 sMack. Slap. ScrEaM. ME.

oh people, call me stupid.silly.dumb..or watever. QUICK.

i had 3 dreams yesterday and i think they're all stupid dreams not worth mentioning.
I must forget forget forget.

How can i get suspicious even in my dream and worse was that my suspicion was comfirmed in the dream. SHUCKs.
How can i even dreamt that someone living at the other end of the country, is giving tuition to a kid who stays below me. HA. HILARIOUS.
How can a pink dog changed into the man and talked to me. *faints*


i was happie in the dreams but i know its not gonna happen ever in my life again.so i should use this as a wakeup call.*slap slap*

Smack me people, for letting wild thoughts flow into my already-cramped mind.
Scold me people, for being inefficient in moving my ass.
Scream at me people, to tell me to FORGIVE and FORGET.



Tell me that that should be none of my concern anymore...



llwei~

1Oct2007

today is CHILDREN's Day! i'm also not sure why on earth i'm excited abt such cos i havnt been celebrating this day for like 8 years? haha.

3 more days to end of exam. but it feels like its gonna taken an eternity...time seemed to pass so slowly these days...since last week...Crap the feeling is bad cans...


hope i can enjoy my one week holi faster. QUICK COME n drive away my PENTUP feelings~~


cheers
llwei~