20sept2007 to be worthy.

To XN:

To be worthy of his love, i cannot let go unless he does.
I have to be greatful of the love he's chose to bestow upon me, and i have to make worhwhile the misery he has and is still going through. He was given the choice to let go, but when he did not, i promise myself that i will not too.
Giving up will never be an option.

To reciprocate his love, not only have i got to be strong for myself, i have to have strength to support him during the tough times too. I have to be understanding, stay happy for him and share his worries. Its not easy, because, there is nothing in action that i can do to lighten his burden.

As u say, i am selfish. I do not deny that. I do feel the pain ur family is going through. But i feel that it is more selfish if i choose to act noble by giving him up, just to please all others,when he has gone through so much for me.

I may b an amateur in relationships, but i do know the real feeling of love, be it from family and friends. The near-death experience i've been through taught me to treasure ,with all my heart, the love i receive from anyone. And because of that, i know the non-deserting love ur bro has for me is precious. Precious enough for me to want to fight hand in hand with him through the tough times. It may be to avail and we may face heartbreaks again. but at least we tried our best.


I am prepared to go through the tough times with him and though we may not have the blessing of many now, i believe that if time can really prove things, one day we can receive the heartfelt blessings of everyone, including you.


llwei~